Solo Mother

Kate over at Babylune has interviewed Gloria Gamat, who writes Cancer Commentary, about what it’s like to be a single mother from the beginning.
Thank you, Kate and Gloria, for such a thoughtful conversation about the real life choices mothers make every day when we’re left to raise our children more or less by ourselves. I was particularly struck by this passage:
When it was just my son and me (before we moved in with my mother) and I didn’t even have tiime to do things for myself like the simple pleasure of going to the grocery on weekends in peace or …read more

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When my kid started to complain about his plumbing, the future grandmother in me didn’t waste much time. I’m not one to run to the doctor every time he sniffles, but five days of uncomfortable pee and I’d had enough. But how does a single mother make the time to get to the doctor?

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from the effervescent Fannfare, i bring you my life in single utterances:
Yourself: waxing
Your partner: dreamy
Your hair: whispery
Your mother: shining
Your father: devoted
Your favorite item: suede
Your dream last night: thrilling
Your favorite drink: chai
Your dream car: hybrid
Your dream home: future
The room you are in: cubicle
Your ex: very
Your fear: running
Where you want to be in ten years: successful
Who you hung out with last night: computer
What you’re not: weak
Muffins: often
One of your wish list items: time
Time: none
The last thing you did: research
What you are wearing: pashmina
Your favorite weather: sunny
Your favorite book: Underworld
Last thing you ate: coffee
Your life: extraordinary
Your best friend: ditto
Your mood: expectant
What are you …read more

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I’m stealing someone’s low bandwidth, since I won’t get hooked up meself until the first of December; believe me, it’s been a long six weeks without decent Net access!
One of the not so charming things about where we live is who else lives in the house with us: there are Rodents of Undetermined Size prowling about the kitchen at night. There was a moment of, “Now what do I do?” when the two pies slated for Thanksgiving dinner were lined up, cooling on the stove, and I could just imagine the pitter patter of little feet. Since my son has …read more

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Thanks to Stealthbadger for pointing me towards this article in the Washington Post about single parents in today’s military: Yearning to be Whole Again.  I can’t imagine what it must be like Over There for the blesh and blood we collectively lump under the faceless label of ‘the military’ or ‘our troops’ or what have you. Heaven forbid we should ever take a good look at the mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, children of grieving parents that they each are.
If we think divorce is bad, consider the thousands of children whose parent(s) are suddenly called to go to war, …read more

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Fannfare is one of my all-time favorite momblogs. She’s acid funny, deadly honest and did I mention, laugh out loud?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all waited with dread, lest the nightly news lead story is, “Way Pissed Off Toddler Carried Screaming Over Father’s Shoulder, Film at 11″… with humiliating closeups of spit, redface, pounding fists and the occasional chewing gum in the hair.
One of the best things about a stable marriage is the ability to holler, “TAG! You’re IT!” and run screaming for the hills. Or, as Amy did the other day, to the park. With Other Ruby, the kid we all wish we …read more

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They were constant companions. Thick as thieves. If one couldn’t, the other could. If one was afraid, the other was fearless. If one was lost, the other found him.

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A very kind friend shared this passage with me. It’s from a book he read a long time ago; these words stayed with him:
“The evidence of the goodness in life stands before us.  I am not blind.  I can see.  And so, to talk too much about the past would reduce it.  This is what I think.  And it may be different from what you think.  Life was real once, and it will be again.  This in between time, the voyage out and back, seems much like a dream.
Events pass by in clear quick images that, when pieced together, seem …read more

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It’s difficult to talk on the phone with the Ex right now. I don’t have anything to say that doesn’t start off with, “Why?” I’m angry. While I’m excited about the life and possibilities that are opening in front of me and my our child, I’m hurt, angry and bewildered that there was apparently something so abhorrent about me that the spouse was unwilling to even try counselling. I’ll always be hurt by that, because at the root of our difficulties lay an inability to communicate honestly, and I really believed that counseling would have helped with that. Which, even …read more

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When we moved back to the States, I made a few conscious decisions while running around in a panic of FOOD! CLOTHING! SHELTER! WORK! This newly single mother decided that the Earth was a place worth taking care of, and that she’d better start doing a better job of it.

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