Solo Mother

I’ve wanted to get back to the Balancing Act and what it means for all us single parents, all us overworked parents, all the mothers and fathers who never feel like they’re in the right place. I’ve been sitting here in front of my computer for about two hours, looking for the energy and inspiration to write the darned piece.
I just don’t have it.
What I do have is the answer to why the bathrooms in this house always smell faintly of the public urinal, no matter how hard I scrub the toilets and the floor around it: the Kid. Tonight, …read more

4 Comments

There is a product-wide recall on all sizes and packages of Veggie Booty by Robert’s American Gourmet Foods. If you have any of this stuff in your house, please don’t eat it. There is a possibility that it has been contaminated with Salmonella, which can do all sorts of nasty things to your tummy if you ingest it.
Food geek facts: food poisoning is a misnomer. Properly labelled, Salmonella and other nasty little critters that bring you to your knees in prayer to the porcelain god are actually food-borne illnesses. And how.
If you should ever find yourself with a …read more

3 Comments

Do you know what your kids are listening to, these days?
I hope they are listening to good, old fashioned, tongue-in-cheek, it sucks to be hormonal music like this:

Seriously. If I had a teenager to embarrass, and a car to drive around town in, I’d roll down all the windows, let the top down, and blast this song for all it’s worth.

5 Comments

They were laughing too loud, and hanging out the bus windows to check out a pedestrian: “Oooo, look at the boo-tay on that chick!” they hollered. Lounging across the entire back of the bus were three boys and a girl, all in that indeterminate age between 15 and 18, texting like mad, cracking jokes, cursing for the joy of hurling something foul from between their lips.
You know. Teenagers.
I sat in the sideways seats at the back of the bus, like I always do. It put me right up against the girl at the back window, perpendicular to her noise and …read more

6 Comments

My recent post about the frustrations of collecting child support brought two good sites for help, information and support.
Jimmy Verner suggests checking out the Child Support Web for great resources when it comes to collecting  your child’s money. And Kelly shared that SupportKids.com has helped her get what she was owed, though they do take a percentage of what they collect–still, 70 or 80% of something is better than 100% of nothing.
So, I’m throwing the question back to you, solomothers, my favorite single mothers out there: what resources have worked for you, to feed, clothe, house and take care of …read more

13 Comments

California Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey is one of us. A former welfare mom, she is now trying to make it easier on everyone to have a family, a career, and even a life outside both those things.
The Balancing Act is something every single mother should carefully consider, and lobby their local representative to support. There is a petition on MomsRising that I encourage you to sign, if you are in alignment with Congresswoman Woolsey’s goals.

2 Comments

I’d forgotten about this… and these are the details of one’s life I hope never to forget.
One Saturday a few Saturdays ago, the King of Everything and I arrived home in the early evening: exhausted, cranky, done it. A massive thunderstorm was piling up on the horizon, pushing steel grey clouds closer to our house. The Boy was whining for more books, more milk, more time to play. I was whupped. And suddenly, inspired. I whisked us into our pyjamas and put the pile of books away. The boy whined.
“shhh!” I whispered. “You’re going to miss the show!” I arranged …read more

6 Comments

Let’s face it. Stress kills. Literally. It kills your libido, kills your confidence, and eventually, it will kill you. Stress can cause you to pack on pounds or melt away, scream at your kid or puddle in tears. Stress is not something we need more of in our lives, and separating from a partner is stressful.
Your assignment this Hump Day is to identify a source of stress in your life and take active steps to eliminate it. If you and your kid are at loggerheads lately, perhaps you need a mini-vacation, either together or apart.
Want to know what’s holding me …read more

8 Comments

Parents have to walk a fine line between blind trust and suspicion. As your child grows, the only thing that’s going to stand between you and chaos is respect, earned on both sides. I think, for single mothers, this is even more important than in ‘whole’ families. Start laying down the foundation for a good relationship early. This includes not resorting to arbitrary punishment just because it’s easier than establishing natural consequences.
It also means you have to know your children, and believe in them.
This afternoon, one of the camp counselors informed the King of Everything’s grammie that there might have …read more

2 Comments

Some guys would rather spend the money on themselves than on their children. That’s just a fact. When your ex is having fun at the expense of your children, it’s hard to stay calm. I’ve been reading some laments around the Net, from women who can’t make ends meet without the child support payments, yet who can’t count on the money because it arrives late–if ever.
 I used to work freelance. I know what it’s like to never know how much money you’re going to have in your pocket at the end of the month. It’s a harsh way to live. …read more

16 Comments