Solo Mother

A wealth of info for the single mom: Psychology Today

by christina on March 7th, 2008

I try very hard not to buy into pop psychology or become an armchair shrink. Life is hard enough without always trying to be your own analyst, you know? But the cover of April’s Psychology Today (why, oh why is the April issue out at the beginning of March?) caught my eye: CHANGE YOUR NATURE it declared. BUILD COURAGE, PASSION, JOY AND OPTIMISM.

Sounds great. Sign me up.

As I thumbed through the pages in search of the cover article, a half-dozen pertinent tidbits caught my eye…the college-aged child who writes to lament her parents’ constant fighting is affecting the way she treats her boyfriend; a note to women, “Be cautious about your tendency to believe you need to make a relationship work at all costs…”; and a great article on the perils of perfectionism, and how to avoid creating one in your own child.

I particularly liked the little blurb about a woman’s tendency to try to save a relationship at all costs; they tied it into a biological predilection for deep emotional bonding once a woman has committed to a sexual relationship. By contrast, men pine for the unobtainable, and run when the object of their adoration is revealed to have feet of clay.

So the next time you find yourself bending over backwards to save your relationship with Mr. Maybe, ask yourself why, and is it really worth it? and then go read the article about changing your nature. Optimism is a learned behavior, did you know that?

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