Solo Mother

another Valentine, this one to my aunt

by christina on February 11th, 2008

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my aunt, my mother’s sister, my cousin’s mother. When the King of Everything and I decorated the tree this past Christmas, the tree skirt that graced our floor had been made by her hand (and had miraculously survived the diaspora of my belongings when my ex and I moved our little family halfway across the world). The KoE and I are currently diving into the joy of chapter books, courtesy of a collection of wonderful old books my aunt had, that we now enjoy. My aunt encouraged my grandmother to learn to paint watercolors, and I have paintings by each of them hanging in our home—again, miraculous survivors of our trek across the world.

My aunt was a single mother for a time. Her choices made it easier for me to make my choices, and I know she never meant for me to learn from the don’t do side of her page of life, I still am grateful I could learn this from her and know I wouldn’t make some of her mistakes. I’ve made others.

Damn, I love her. Her loss does not change that love, just quiets it, whenever I think to call her and can’t, whenever I begin to write her a note and have nowhere to send it but, perhaps, on the string end of a balloon. I went to Trader Joe’s with a friend today, and instead of getting a balloon for the King of Everything, I picked myself one, a pretty red one, and attached a Valentine to its string. I released it outside my office, and it zipped away in the gusts of wind, up to her, wherever she is. I thanked her for the things she taught me, the love she shared with my child and me, the knowledge I have, thanks to her, that a simple live is a life well lived.

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POSTED IN: essential reading