Solo Mother

Anxiety when you feel you’ve lost control

by christina on January 3rd, 2008

Motherhood. Divorce. Motherhood and divorce. If there is a major change in your life right now, chances are you’re feeling a bit unstable.

Breathe.

One of the hardest things about being a mother, about getting married, about getting divorced… about finding a new job, moving houses, or dealing with the loss of a loved one, is that crushing sense of having lost control. You are no longer in control of your life, and you might find yourself reacting in ways you wouldn’t hardly recognize if you could watch yourself go. Are you on your kids all the time? Are you short-tempered or needy with your mate? Are you eating too much or too little, wandering the house at all hours or falling asleep on the ride home in the afternoon?

Breathe.

Think about what’s really making you panic. Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do to regain absolute control over this situation?” The answer is probably, “No.” Is there some other area of your life that is slipping because of this other situation? Can you regain control in that little corner of your life? Probably, the answer is, “Yes.”

So put down that donut. Dust off the gym membership. Set the alarm for a reasonable hour to go to bed every night, and to get up every morning. Pound the pavements to look for that job. Get together regularly for a stitch ‘n’ bitch with the girls.

You’ll see. If you can make small changes to your life that move you in positive ways, the bigger chunks that seem immovable right now will slowly start to turn your way.

And ease up on the kids. How many times did you say, “Yes, you can!” to them today? I bet you can do it more often tomorrow.

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