Dealing with the holidays
Here we go again.
Where is your child this Thanksgiving? This Christmas, Chanuka, Kwanza,Eid, Dilwali? And how are you going to cope with all the turmoil and the missing and the sadness and the lost memories?
I’m worried about you, single mother. We’ll talk about how to make it easier for the kids, later.
Are you ok? Are you worried about the kids, do you think you’re going to miss them? Did you cry in your eggnog last year? I’m sorry.
The best advice I have for you is this: it’s harder for grief and depression to hit a moving target, so don’t stop. Get out. Mingle. Invite friends and family to share the holidays with you, and make your time without your children meaningful and important to you, so you can receive them back into your home with love and laughter. Save the breakdown for your shrink or your shower. (I can’t tell you how many times I have stood in a scalding hot or icy cold shower and just sobbed my eyes out…) And you know what? If you must, please do have a good cry or two. Nothing wrong with that. Just don’t hole yourself up in a dark empty house and flirt with despair, ok?
I’m lucky. I’ve got parents here, and I know that no matter what, I’ve got somewhere to go. It will be sad and quiet when the King of Everything isn’t with us to make us merry and bright, but I’ll fill my days with friends, and traditions, and who knows? Perhaps I’ll go somewhere warm for the holidays when it’s my turn to be without the light of my life. Of course, when his father hasn’t called to speak to him in weeks, it’s hard to imagine that kid getting on a plane to visit his father… but that’s another post for another night.
Tags: depression, divorce, holidays, single-mom, single-mother, surviving-the-holidays
1 opinion for Dealing with the holidays
Tolu Adeleye
Nov 22, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Christina, you have raised a very important issue for single parents during the holiday season.
As a single parent, it is very important that you do not keep to yourself during the holiday periods. Spend some time with supportive friends and families. Be very flexible in your scheduling of holiday season visits. Find new ways of creating a different kind of memory together with your children at whatever period of the holiday that you have them with you. For more tips on dealing with the holiday season as a single mother, visit http://staysanethroughchange.blogspot.com/2007/11/chicken-for-thanksgiving-dealing-with.html
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