Did you survive D-DAY yesterday? Or are you now a single mom?
I’m single, and getting through the holidays was hard. Apparently, it’s not any easier for married couples. In fact, the holidays often put a crushing burden on marriages, and the first working Monday after the New Year sees a spike in divorce filings. According to to a piece in the Guardian yesterday (thanks to Kate at Babylune for pointing it out to me), the discovery of affairs over the holidays account for 42% of the divorces. I suppose it must be a shock to get a pair of flannel pyjamas when you saw a pair of diamond earrings on your husband’s credit card statement. To quote the Guardian, “The country’s largest provider of relationship support and counselling, Relate, receives an average 50% rise in calls to its centres over Christmas and new year.”
If your marriage got the boot for New Year’s, you’re not alone.
So if you find yourself here at SoloMother because something snapped over the holidays, then take a deep breath, get out another box of Kleenex, and start making some plans. You’ll need to know where you’re going to live, how you’re going to make ends meet, and when each of you is going to see the kids. I was just speaking to a friend who went through a nasty shock over New Years, and I was reminded of how utterly awful I felt when my marriage broke up, not really so long ago. I felt lost. I felt broken. I felt hopeless, miserable, buried alive. Bitter and angry, I sobbed myself to sleep every night and wandered in a daze through the apartment that was no longer home.
You might find the days bearable if you make a list of Seven Things to accomplish each day. And no, it’s not cheating if you put ‘get out of bed’ on your list if that’s something you’re having a hard time accomplishing. Cross off things as you get them done.
Go to the gym. Sign up for a kick-boxing class, or a kung fu or karate lesson. Get moving. Put on some Nine Inch Nails and go for a power walk. Keep moving and give an outlet to those feelings of anger and betrayal.
Tags: D-day, divorce, divorce-and-the-holidays, divorce-day, guardian, guardian-UK, holdiaysRelated Stories
POSTED IN: divorce
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