Give your child a voice to defend him or herself
My kid got his feelings hurt by a grown up this weekend. Some grown ups just don’t know when to stop, and this particular one teased the kid to within an inch of his sanity, pushing the joke far past the point where it stopped being funny. To the point where my almost four year old looked this adult in the eye and said, “I’m not talking to you anymore. You hurt my feelings.”
I was so amazed that my little guy felt comfortable enough in his own skin, and confident enough of his own value and worth, that he could do this. For what it’s worth, I agreed with him, in my heart. It was too much. It wasn’t funny. It was insensitive at best, downright cruel at worst, and I am grateful that my child can stand up for himself and his own sense of justice. I never could have done that when I was a child.
When the adult had gone, we had a little talk about what had happened, and I tried to explain to the KoE that some adults just didn’t know how to talk to kids, but that maybe, when the KoE was bigger, this grown up would be easier to be around. “He just wan’t being very nice to me, mama, even when I asked him to stop teasing me. It hurt my heart. He does that mean teasing thing to me a lot, when I was littler.” Now, Grown Up would say that this is just drama talking, and the kid has to toughen up and learn what’s what. Psaw, I say. That kid is plenty tough. He stood up to an adult for what was right, didn’t he?
When the King of Everything rules the universe, I think he’ll be a benevolent dictator. If he isn’t, I’ll remind him about the day he told a grown up to be nice.
Tags: adults, awareness, justice, kindness, motherhood, self-confidence, single mom, single mother, teasing
4 opinions for Give your child a voice to defend him or herself
Daisan
Feb 27, 2007 at 6:40 pm
I think that’s one of the best skills you can teach your kid. I want mine to feel free to express himself, especially when he’s being tormented (whether it’s by an adult or a fellow child.) Self-respect is the foundation of a healthy, happy person. Sounds like the KoE is well on his way. :)
Kristen King
Feb 27, 2007 at 8:35 pm
That is fantastic. Keep up the great work.
kk
Christina
Feb 28, 2007 at 9:19 am
Daisan, exactly. At least, coming from my own childhood, I know what I’d like my kid to be able to do that I couldn’t. It’s also a much different attitude these days about children. They are treated much more like equal members of the household, and not relegated to the nursery.
Christina
Feb 28, 2007 at 9:20 am
Kristen, thanks. It’s an amazing ride, all right.
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