Solo Mother

Good advice from a working single mom

by christina on October 4th, 2008

Whether you’re a single mother by choice, or a woman facing the loss of a partner, or a woman with an accidental pregnancy and a will to make it work, there’s advice we all need to hear.

• I’d say that you have to make a will that names who you would like to take care of your child in case something should happen to you, especially if there are caretakers in your child’s life who have added more, and been there more than any biological father has been.
• Build a tribe.  Gather up-beat, funny, sensitive, supportive, honest, strong women around you who will give you the straight talk and hold you up when life gets hard. And be sure to be there for them when it’s their turn to falter. Go to church or get involved in local community groups.
• Put money in a college savings account. Make it a direct deposit from your paycheck so you never even know you had that money in the first place. Put a little in that account with every paycheck, and encourage family members to do so, as well.
• If money is a problem for you, do a little something on the side and save that money for a rainy day–sell art on Etsy or resell on Ebay. Write articles for a little cash. You’d be surprised how fast little bits of money add up to enough for a vacation… and if what you do is creative, you’re feeding your soul as well as your wallet.
• Do what you love. There’s something to be said for returning to the things that first sparked your passions. Was it writing, mathematics, design? If you’re happy, your child will be happier.  And if you have to work to provide for your small family, which means sacrificing time with that family… then do something you love.

Kristen Darguzas writes over on Work It, Mom, and I liked her take on best bits of single parenting advice:

When I started writing online again in 2007 after a year hiatus, I found that advice to Single Moms was a little less common. I get a lot of “Not sure how you do it!” and “You’re doing great!” but few are reluctant to say: “I’ve done it. This is what worked for me.”

Visit Kristen to read her Five Best Tidbits of Single Parenting Advice. 

And then tell me… what advice would you give your single mother friends?

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