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Solo Mother

Goodbye, tonsils, farewell

by christina on May 9th, 2007

I look at his sleeping face tonight and marvel at his spare and lithesome form, his barely civilized grace. That such a slender vessel could hold such bravery, such competence in difficult times… I am in awe. My son had his tonsils out early this morning. He taught me a lesson in composure, today.

I don’t ever want to have to do this again. The hardest part was in the operating room, as he, so trusting, did as he was told, tried to blow up the ‘balloon’, inhaling the anesthesia in great big gulps of air, his blue eyes fixed on mine. “All you have to do is breathe, love,” i told him. “All you’re doing is going to sleep.” I whispered these phrases over and over as his body tensed, his hands scrabbled in mine. Even warned to expect this, it was heart-wrenching to watch his body’s instinctual fight to remain conscious. His torso stiffened, his hands fought to free themselves from mine and rip the mask off his face… and still he breathed in the very thing he fought because he had no choice, because he trusted the surgeons and his mama. I wanted to cry, and was visibly shaken when I returned to the pediatric pre-op area to wait for my boy to be wheeled back to me.

But for those of you who are wondering about the whole procedure, and how to deal with it afterwards: popcicles and ice cream and cottage cheese, oh my. Macaroni and cheese. Watermelon and sweet peaches. Soft, comforting foods. Snuggles. Good movies. Lots of love and praise for a scary day well done.

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12 opinions for Goodbye, tonsils, farewell

  • ratphooey
    May 9, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    I’m so glad it’s over! For both of you.

  • Michael
    May 10, 2007 at 6:57 am

    Bless your heart and his. I am glad this is behind you both now…and the “lots of love” part - I never doubted for a second

  • Rebecca
    May 10, 2007 at 11:29 am

    You are both so brave! I’ve never had anything more than some stitches with my kids, and I cried at that! :-)

    The recovery is the fun part with all the yummy foods.

    Well wishes to both of you!

  • Rachel Sarah
    May 10, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    You’ve made me cry. Because you’re such a brave, loving mama. And your King is so blessed to have you.
    Here’s to ice cream.
    xoxo

  • carrie
    May 10, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    Well done to the both of you for getting through it. My daughter had lots of horrible tests and procedures when she was under one, and the whole time I felt horribly guilty although it was obviously the Right Thing To Do. Well done for your strength and courage, and I am so pleased that the KoE gets lots of favourites for being a big brave boy! =) xx (don’t forget to take care of yourself to though!)

  • christina
    May 10, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Carrie, when i was in the OR with the Kid, my clearest thought was for parents of children who have to undergo such things on a regular basis. i don’t know how they do it, where they find the strength. Is your daughter well, now? i hope the hard visits to the hospital are over for you, now.

  • christina
    May 10, 2007 at 10:24 pm

    Rachel, you’re too kind to us.

    I’ve rediscovered a love of Breyer’s Chocolate Ice Cream. i’d forgotten how good the simple stuff can be.

  • christina
    May 10, 2007 at 10:25 pm

    Rebecca, how good to see you again! I just read another of the wonderful books you sent us. Seems I have a bit of time, with the kid in recovery and me off of work.

  • christina
    May 10, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Michael, you are a lovely voice in my life. Thank you.

  • christina
    May 10, 2007 at 10:45 pm

    shani, thank you. Your boys fill me with awe. they are so sweet and beautiful

  • Carrie
    May 11, 2007 at 12:36 am

    They are over now we are lucky =) She was in hospital 7 times in her first six months, and that’s not the tests, that was the emergency room visits =/ BUT! She is as healthy as the rest of her friends now, sniffs and the odd bug, easy to deal with all! Hospitals can be such cold fearful places, I hope though you were as fortunate enough to have lovely staff easing the trauma as we were. =) God Bless x

  • christina
    May 11, 2007 at 11:29 am

    Wow, Carrie, I am so glad to hear that everything has turned out well.

    the staff at the hospital was wonderful, the kindest, smoothest experience I’ve ever had in a hospital.

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