Got a question about single parenting? Ask Dr. Leah!
This nifty woman showed up on my blog radar today, and I thought I’d share her with you.
If anyone knows what we’re going through, I think it’s Dr. Leah:
My role as a single parent came abruptly and unexpectedly. I had been living in upstate New York, with my husband and our two young children. When my husband wanted to move his business to the Carolinas, I readily agreed confident that our family life would smoothly continue. I was a school psychologist, eagerly looking forward to earning a doctorate at the University of South Carolina. He went ahead to make arrangements, while I packed up the house. As the moving van was pulling out of the driveway and our children, Sarah, three, and Andrew, eight, were saying goodbyes to the house, the phone rang.
I was in for a rude shock. Instead of providing details for our move, my husband announced he did not want to be married any more, suggested the children and I move in with my mother in a suburb of New York City, and hung up. That was the end of his participation in our lives.
Left stunned with a couple of suitcases, two bewildered children, and $500, I temporarily stayed at my mother’s house. I desperately wanted a better life for the children and me.
I had no clue, no instruction manual, nothing. What I did have were determination, faith, acceptance to a top notch graduate program, and two children I dearly loved.
She is the author of The Complete Single Mother, now in its third edition and packed full of information on how to go it ‘alone’, whether by choice or circumstance.
Thanks, Dr. Leah, for dropping by. I know you’re going to be a wealth of information for us single moms.
Tags: advice, Ask-Dr.-Leah, Complete-Single-Mother, help, single-mom, single-motherRelated Stories
POSTED IN: essential reading
13 opinions for Got a question about single parenting? Ask Dr. Leah!
angel
Sep 18, 2007 at 2:28 pm
wow… she sounds amazing! talk about a sudden lifestyle change!
christina
Sep 18, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Yeah, she seems amazing. You got that right. I wish I had her backbone!
Rachel
Sep 19, 2007 at 10:42 am
I had the chance to meet Dr. Leah this year during a conference in Berkeley, CA on single motherhood (we talked about what it’s like to date as a single mom!) Indeed, she rocks. No doubt.
christina
Sep 19, 2007 at 8:53 pm
You get to meet all the cool kids!
It sucks to date as a single mom. But I’m not giving up!
lucy
Sep 27, 2007 at 12:31 am
hi my name si lucy and i need help my children were sexualy molested by my ex now hi’s in jail but i dont know how to get help getting child support he is retired from the marine corps now i am confused and broke ‘ thank you i hope anyone here can help me
Dr. Leah
Sep 28, 2007 at 8:52 am
I am sorry for your circumstances. Find the local child support office and ask what you need to do to get child support. You may be entitled to a your ex husband’s Marine Corps pension. Is there a Marine corp benefits office you can find online to give you some direction? The child support office is federally funded, so they will help you for free. If you and your children are not already getting counseling, look into the mental health services available in your community. Many times such help is available free or very low cost. You need help in dealing with what you and your children have experienced. Stay in touch with us and let us know how things are going. We care.
Dr. Leah
lucy
Sep 29, 2007 at 1:18 pm
thank you for taking the time to post you comments
i’ll look into the legal help with the marine corp and yes me and my kids are doing ok i have great kids very loving and strong
we just want to forget and move on but its so hard
christina
Sep 30, 2007 at 10:41 am
Lucy, I hope Dr. Leah’s advice gets you walking in the right direction. Please do check in and let us know how you are getting along. We’ll be thinking about you
lucy
Oct 1, 2007 at 12:26 am
yes i know i have to do that
when i dont know that sometimes i can even get dress to go anywhere or even out of my room and today was one of those days seen like this pain never going to go away and i know i have many thing i have to do
but i just cant i try to go to church today but i was so sad and mad of God i know i cant be mad of God
but i am how can i get up and go?
how can i just be ok? i know my kids are not ok then i cant be ok.
why those ugly things happen to us?
how can God let that happen?
why? i dont know. how can i marry that man? i dont know
was i in love? no i was not
why he when after my kids? his kids?
i dont know no one knows
you know i have 4 dogs one for each member of the family because when no one can give comfort we go to the one that never turn us down our dogs
lucy
Oct 2, 2007 at 11:52 pm
today was a good day for my kids that was good
Dr. Leah
Oct 3, 2007 at 7:22 am
Lucy, We are all concerned about you. There are people and agencies out there willing and able to help you. I hope you are able to make some effort to seek these out. The Marine Corps office is a good place to start. Please let us know that you have taken a least a small step toward getting the help you deserve. We are all keeping good thoughts for you. Dr. Leah
lucy
Oct 8, 2007 at 9:06 pm
today was not a good day for my kids and me i just dont know how to fix it and how to ask for help
christina
Oct 8, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Lucy, believe it or not, i was just sitting here wondering if I could possibly cry any more over the difficult day my son and I have had. Difficult three days, really. I don’t know how keen you are on reading parenting books, but there are a few that help me: look for any of the Positive Parenting books, that tell you how to teach your children right and wrong, and how to choose actions with positive consequences. How to parent without threats or punishments. I need to read them again. Another one that is great is, “How to talk so children will listen and listen so children will talk” or something utterly long like that — and check out Siblings Without Rivalry. It won’t help you with the abuse you have all suffered, but it will help you all change the way you react to each other. It will give you some positive, kind ways to relate to your children that will make the burden of everything else you are dealing with lighter. Did you contact your ex’s command and discuss what has happened? Did you contact your local social services? How about the local WIC (Women, Infants, Children)? Go through the phone book and look for abuse hotlines… hang on… National Domestic Violence Hotline is a place to start: call 1 800 799- SAFE (7233)
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