horror in the headlines: mother slits childrens’ wrists
I’ve been thinking about this story all day, wondering if I dared say anything about it here. She was a mother of two, in desperate mental straights. She did this horrible thing to her children, and then herself. Amazingly, her neighbors knew something was happening, and summoned the police who, forcing their way into the house, were able to save the children.
And the mother.
This woman is a single mother. She is being treated for mental disorders, and her children are being cared for. I don’t know how you live with that memory, either as the child or the mother. I don’t know how you survive that kind of horror. I know that mental illness is harrowing, both for the person who suffers it, and for the loved ones who suffer along with them. Depression can destroy entire families; who knows how others struggle through illnesses like bi-polar and borderline personality. If someone you love is suffering from a mental illness, you do them no favors by keeping silent about it. Offer the person help. Find someone he or she can talk to, and if you fear the illness is serious, or life threatening, you talk to someone about it. There have been too many stories lately about men and women driven to the edge of sanity and beyond, who have done heinous things to themselves, their children, and their significant others.
If the person you know does not acknowledge there might be something wrong, and you’re in such a position, you might be able to talk to his or her physician. Look for support groups in your area, and move yourself and your children out of harm’s way if you’re living with someone who seems capable of doing harm. Behave with love and compassion; mental illness is an illness, and is out of someone’s control to cure without medical help. You can’t blame someone for having a mental illness. It’s not their fault.
I’ll tell you a little story. I suffer from depression from time to time. Nothing serious anymore, and it seems my worst crises center around bad relationships. In the midst of one of these man-related depressions, I went to my family doctor for help. She listened to me describe what was going on in my life, and said, “I can prescribe an anti-depressant for you, but what I’d really like to see you do is ditch the man who’s making you feel this way.” I took the antidepressants, but I also took her advice and ditched the crummy man.
So if you’re the one who’s feeling out of sorts, in a rut, can’t lift up your head and smile, take a good look around and see what’s making you feel so bad. Perhaps there’s a way to heal.
Tags: children, danger, depression, disorder, mental-health, single-mom, single-motherRelated Stories
POSTED IN: assistance, health
4 opinions for horror in the headlines: mother slits childrens’ wrists
Ike
Jul 27, 2008 at 6:57 am
I would agree that it isn’t someone’s fault if they are mentally ill. Certainly no one would ask to be depressed or otherwise ill. But it IS a person’s responsibility to seek out and/or accept help when ill, especially when it affects spouses and children. My ex is depressed and borderline, and despite having been diagnosed, still refuses therapy and medication.
I understand my part in the breakdown of our marriage, though often wonder how things might have turned out if he had accepted the diagnoses and committed to treatment.
christina
Jul 27, 2008 at 9:29 am
Ike, I’m sorry you had to go through that. It wasn’t your ex’s fault that he had these mental illnesses, and the worst part of borderline is that sometimes, people with borderline can’t see that there is something wrong with them. It’s in the very nature of the disease. So it’s not a person’s fault they have a mental illness, but yes, they should take as much responsibility as they can for managing their disease. And if they don’t, can’t or won’t, I don’t think you have an obligation to suffer through it.
worker bee
Jul 28, 2008 at 11:42 pm
i suffer from the same sort of depressions. yucky.
today, i was proactive and called a potential therapist. she was sweet on the phone, until she talked to my insurance. she said they were being too vague, and she couldn’t take that on. she couldn’t help me.
now what.
christina
Jul 29, 2008 at 7:06 am
Worker bee, you talk to your insurance and find out what will work, who they will accept, and what they will cover. Your insurance has a help line you can call to find medical professionals. I also know that your employers have an 800 number you can call for advice. Talk to your HR manager about that number.
Don’t give up on finding someone to talk to.
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