How to be a perfect parent
Don’t we all beat ourselves up? Don’t we wring our mental hands over instances when we could have been more patient, more attentive, more giving with our children? Aren’t you sick of being less than perfect?
I sure am…
I went surfing the Net to see what I could learn in my quest for perfect parenthood. Mothering Magazine is one of my favorite, liberal publications about the quest for the perfect parent-child life balance. No wonder that I should find an article to put my aspirations in perspective…
“Good Enough Parent” by Marybeth Lambe is a lovely article full of hope for all us imperfect parents. I hope it helps you assuage your own pangs and forgive yourself for your occasional, all too human lapses.
As a mother and family-practice physician for more than 20 years, I am often struck by how all of us struggle to meet the impossible ideal of being “perfect” parents. Sometimes, the guilt is so powerful it blinds us to daily joys. Even when we are doing a good job as parents, we are somehow never good enough, and we punish ourselves. If we were perfect parents, why couldn’t we have fed her all the right foods? Why didn’t we have more patience? Why didn’t we toilet-train him sooner—or later? Why did we yell when we should have listened? Why didn’t we have smiles on our faces at all times? The litany of self-criticism is endless. How can we free ourselves from the stereotype of the “perfect” parent?
Good-enough parenting is not about being lazy or less interested or less loving parents, but about being more forgiving. It acknowledges that parents, like children, have needs. Each family must find what is important and let the rest slip away. But this is easy to say. How is it actually done?
Go on, read the article and start the new year with renewed kindness and confidence.
Tags: Mothering-magazine, parenting, perfect-parent, positive-parentingRelated Stories
POSTED IN: parenting
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