I’m not entirely honest, single mothers…
There’s a lot I don’t talk about. I’m not like Dooce, willing to risk being fired for saying something not quite PC. I will not say anything mean about my ex, not here, and not to the general public. I don’t ever want it to get back to my son. And, having opened my big mouth recently to say things that weren’t very nice, I can tell you: it doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t help. All it does is hurt.
Solomothers tell me their stories. I listen. I feel for you, every one. I wish life didn’t have to be this way. Wish I could take the hurt and the pain away. Wish we could make better choices to start out with, or repair the mistakes we made.
The largest lesson I’ve learned in my own time as a single mother is this: love yourself. For an amazing number of reasons. For your children. For your sanity. For your custody hearing. For your ability to sleep at night. For your future. Love yourself. Give yourself reason to hold your head up every day, no matter what. For those of you afraid to choose the wrong man again, I tell you: you will, until you love yourself. For those of you afraid of how your children will end up, I tell you: love yourself, and you will be an example to them that they cannot discount or ignore. To those of you who don’t know how to make ends meet, I tell you: love yourself, and you will have the strength to chase your dreams, get that degree, provide for yourself and your children.
To those of you who don’t know how to begin, I tell you: Love yourself, and you will not be able to tolerate the abuse any more.
Tags: self-esteemRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Selp-help
6 opinions for I’m not entirely honest, single mothers…
Cristina
May 11, 2007 at 3:58 pm
So how is the king doing post-surgery? We think of y’all often, you know.
christina
May 11, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Hi, Cristina, thanks for the thoughts. He’s doing so amazingly well, though I wish he could just REST every once in a while.
Solo_Mom_With_Disabled_Child
May 12, 2007 at 9:40 pm
I have never visited this site before.
I am not divorced, the biological father abandoned me on the day I learned that I was pregnant.
The “love yourself” thing is a funny thing. In all of this, it is not so much that I love myself, rather I intensely value the importance of what I am doing.
My kid is great. I have made huge sacrifices to assure her future. And I use that word of “sacrifices” only in hindsight. I just did want I needed to do.
I need to re-enter my previous work. I find that decision which is necessary difficult. The essence of my moral and work ethic structure has been so revised by the past years… I know that I can be a very competitive person but I worry about how well I can sustain that really and relatively false motivation of my life. These years with my child have been so intense, will I out-grow and forget the meaningfulness of these years for yet another set of unforseen milestones as an unsupported single mother?
Thanks, Christina for your inspiration….
christina
May 12, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Solo Mom… I’m going to have to read your comment again, it’s so full and rich and amazing.
thank you
angel
May 14, 2007 at 1:11 pm
sheer brilliance christina! we all need to remind ourselves of that!
christina
May 16, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Hey, Angel, how’s your computer doing? Did you get everything fixed?
I’m glad my thoughts can help, sometimes. Mostly, I’m so wrapped up in my own Dwama (that’s over the top Drama, dontchaknow) that it’s all I can do to cheer myself on!
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