I’m too sexy for my pants.
There is no time to think in my mornings. No time to change my mind, or try to make a decision. Everything has to be laid out the night before, and then I’m locked into a commitment to that dress, those socks, that lunch. Every night, I pack the lunch bags, lay out the outfits, find the shoes and socks and mittens, so when I wake up at the crack of dawn, all I have to do is go go go.
Yesterday, I got up and shuffled into my outfit for the day: a pair of khaki handmedown trousers and a white cotton blouse. I brushed my teeth. I tried to pull my trousers down a little bit. I dried my hair. I tried pulling the damned things up a little. I didn’t have time to rethink the whole outfit, so I pulled on a sweater that covered my derriere, and continued on my whirlwind tour of out of the house by seven.
As the day wore on, I grew more and more uncomfortable. I know I’ve been sick, but how on earth could I have retained this much water? I mean, I’d just worn these slacks a few days before. I sit between two very attractive, thin young folks at work. I had to face the horrifying fact: I was fat. Somehow, in the course of just two days, I’d grown fat. My pants were too tight on me, and I sucked. I silently beat myself up over such a careless thing on my part — I’m fat! I did it to myself! and eschewed all good things in life. I nibbled on my hamburger, sans bun. I drank water. I didn’t partake in the office bowl of popcorn. I starved.
I shed the hateful slacks as soon as my son was a sleep, and climbed into comfy, forgiving pyjamas, then began the Herculean task of trying to put stuff away in my house. Which is when I found the OTHER pair of khaki pants, the ones I should have worn yesterday, and realized I’d picked up the wrong pair of pants.
I had a cookie to celebrate.
Photo creds go to Mr. TGT on Flickr
Tags: clothes, excersise, fat, health, overweight, single-mom, single-motherRelated Stories
POSTED IN: fitness
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