Solo Mother

Looking at single daddies from the other side of the lens

by christina on July 11th, 2007

Ike and Amy both brought up an interesting point in response to my post yesterday about the Boston Globe article on the emerging trend of single fathers heading up the household.

In a word: huh?

Now, I know that marriages don’t just break all by themselves. And I know that men aren’t always to blame for the breakup, nor are they even 50% responsible for some breakups. But what Amy and Ike both noticed was this tendency to pat and praise men for stepping up and doing what needed to be done after the divorce, and both wondered aloud if, had these men made the kinds of commitments and sacrifices to their family and children while they were married, would there have been any need for divorce papers? I know my ex and I had very different opinions on what dedication to family means, and I’m sure most men feel they are doing all that’s required by going out and working and making money. Oh, honey. You have no idea.

Until the kids come home, and suddenly, there are choices to be made, not based on career or resume, but on schools and safety. Schedules ruled by softball and drama club, not cocktail meetings and jetting across country to land that big contract… cause what would you do with the kids?

So thank you, ladies, for reminding me that sacrifice for the better good of the family as a whole might ultimately be less than the personal sacrifices made due to divorce. Preventative measures, people.

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