Solo Mother

Looking at the long view through these single mother eyes.

by christina on December 27th, 2006

Hello, there, single mom. How you doing? Staring at your empty pocket where the holidays burned a big hole?

Shh. I’ll let you in on a secret: I’m done with the seat of my pants living. In January, I’m going to sit down and make a list of all the birthdays we’ll have to celebrate this year, and a master Christmas 2007 list. And every month, I’ll buy a little something for someone on that list. I’ll set myself a budget, no doubt; I’ll enjoy shopping for presents and avoid the December panic that always sets in. Come December, I’ll be sitting pretty on a pile of gifts, without the general panic of, “How on earth am I going to afford Christmas this year?” I’m thinking, if I start on gifts in January, I might even have the time, energy and wherewithall to actually MAKE some presents this year. I do knit, and sew, and pot. Clay! CLAY! Evil minded mamas. Ahem.

There’s an art to taking the long view, and as a single parent, you’re probably not certain how you’ll get through til bedtime, let alone see your kid graduate college or save enough to take that cruise around the world you’ve always dreamed about. Dreams do start small… but they certainly can grow.

This article by Lori L. Tharps from the May, 2005 issue of Essence, has some great advice, information, and inspiration on how to grab the reins of your life and go.

I’ve been thinking of some ways to make my life easier. Have you? If you need some suggestions… I’ve got an opinion on everything these days, it seems. In January, resolve to:

• Save money, even if it’s just a few dollars a week. Think about where you can cut expenses: do you need that double frappamochapeppowhoozihalfcaff latte with whip twice a week? Can you just drink office brew and save the ten bucks a week you drop at Starbucks? (That’s an extra $480/year in your vacation fund right there, mama!)
• Quit smoking if you haven’t, already. How much are smokes these days, anyway? Around here, the cancer sticks can cost as much as $4/pack! And even if you smoke only one pack a day (and confession time, sweets, I was up to three packs a day when I quit, ten years ago), that’s $28 a week, $108 a month, $1296 a year. And that’s not including the money you’ll save on health insurance, sick days, Febreeze, and serious illness treatments. (I’ll whisper it so only your subconscious hears it: who will take care of your kids if your smoking kills you?)
• Set yourself a strict budget, and stick to it. When I get a job and finally have a set income to work with, I’m going to set up my budget, and then… take the cash out at the beginning of the pay period, put it in little envelopes marked, “Groceries” and “Travel” and “Clothes” etc. When an envelope is empty, I can either steal from another category, or I can do without. But I won’t be waving the check card around like there’s some endless supply of money attached to the other end of it. And I think it’s a good idea for the KoE to start seeing money and how it works. He seems to think that that magic card is all we need to make ends meet. Oh, how I wish!
• Brown bag it. Bring your lunch to work and save what, $10 a day? It seems every time I step out for lunch, I drop a tenner, no matter what I order.
• Walk more. Get excersise and save some wear and tear on your gas tank. Carpool. Take public transportation. Less expensive and better for everyone.

Try to imagine where you’d like to be in five years. Now, try to imagine how to get there. If you want it to happen, you’ll make it so. I know you can do it. If I figure out how, I’ll let you know, and I’ll be offering a hand to help pull someone else up alongside me.

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POSTED IN: Selp-help, essential reading, money