Solo Mother

Mother’s little helper

by christina on November 10th, 2007

I was amazed. I was astounded. I was… dumbstruck by the fact that he didn’t know how to mop a floor. He had never had to do so, and very calmly suggested that I show him how to do it, and then he would know.

He was thirty-something years old!

My ex, I’m sure, was exaggerating a little bit. I’m sure that, if he had to, he would have been able to clean a floor. But when children grow up with parents (or maids) who do everything for them, they don’t ever learn how to fend for themselves. So don’t think you’re being kind by picking up your toddler’s toys, or doing your teenager’s laundry.

The King of Everything has been a lovely little helper since he was old enough to say, “I help!” We had a special step stool in the kitchen, and he would happily scramble eggs, pour whatever I had measured into wherever I pointed. He helped his grandpa dredge the chicken in egg and flour and breadcrumbs. “We COOKS, dampa!” he would crow. He dusted. He swept. He happily pushed his little cleaning cart around our home in Dubai, helping me in my never-ending battle against the sand that crept into the house every day.

As he has grown older (how is it that he’s nearly four and a half??), his responsibilities have grown. He is expected to pick up his own room when I ask him to do so. He helps vacuum and dust. He’s a great help with the laundry, sorting out our colors and putting the dryer sheet in the machine. Soon, it will be time for a chore chart, and an allowance. We are only two. I need his help. He needs to learn how to pitch in, how to be responsible, how to take care of his belongings. If a toy gets broken because of neglect, I don’t replace it. If he loses a mitten because he didn’t put it in his pockets when I told him to, then he has to go without — and the winters here aren’t so harsh that he can’t go without mittens for a day or two.

Being helpful gives our children a tangible sense of belonging and pride in a job well done. Make helping out around the house a part of your lives from the get-go and you’ll have fewer difficulties later on… and you will have created a more valuable member of society.
One who doesn’t leave his dirty underwear on the floor of the living room for someone else to clean up.

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POSTED IN: helping out, parenting