My son, the class clown
I’m so dismayed.
He’s off his rocker. Today he hit a girl in his class because he didn’t want to share the monkey bars with her. A few days ago, he knocked the same girl’s lunch tray into her lap. He says she teases him and tells him potty jokes. I say I don’t care. He’s older than she, he’s got to be the bigger man in the equation. If it were just a run-in with this one girl, I’d chalk it up to chemistry and be amused trying to figure out if they have crushes or can’t stand one another. Unfortunately, he’s got something for everyone, and from what I’m hearing back from his poor, sainted teacher (who is retiring this year and I can’t help but think that having the King of Everything might have pushed her to make that decision)… he’s turning the classroom into a carnival. He doesn’t sit still, he talks all the time, he does stupid silly things to get attention.
I’m sick of it. When I picked him up from school today, he got an earful. He won’t be able to go to the field trip tomorrow and I’ll have to shuffle my schedule to keep him home all day. I’m going to ride him hard tomorrow. He will do what I say, when I say it. He will do chores. He will practice coloring inside the lines, and writing his letters and numbers. He will practice reading. He will tag around town with me as I do my errands. He will write a great big letter of apology to the little girl he hit, and to his teacher for being such a pain in her neck since September.
We’ll be going back to the gold star system, and I’m going to make a great big chart with pictures of the rewards he is working to keep. Books at night. Movie night on Friday night. A trip to a museum. But he’s going to get a great, big, frowny face for today’s behavior, and if he pulls anything between now and Friday, he’s not going to be able to do the wonderful things I had planned for him.
I hate this. I know this is normal behavior for a boy like him. I know he’s a square peg in a round hole. I know non-conformists either get worn down or they explode… or find some niche in which they can survive until they are in their 20’s and can navigate the institutional portions of our day to day life with more stealth and cunning.
He’s such a bright, wonderful, personable little guy. His teacher is genuinely apologetic for having to call me, discipline him, write him up. We’re just at a loss.
Duct tape. Duct tape fixes everything.
Tags: class-clown, parenting, spirited-childRelated Stories
POSTED IN: parenting
9 opinions for My son, the class clown
Kate
Nov 6, 2007 at 12:13 am
If it makes you feel any better, my five year-old hit me with a stick on Sunday because I made his “dragon-shaped” sandwich in the wrong kind of dragon shape.
Dr. Leah
Nov 6, 2007 at 8:36 am
Single parenting is a tough job (duh!); I know because I raised two children totally on my own, except I didn’t. You have a challenging situation with your son’s behavior. When I was
challenged, I reached out for the help I needed. I found helpful and sympathetic teachers and other school professionals. I didn’t try to do it alone. I found it not helpful at all to go at my kids like the wrath of God one day and be all about trips and treats the next day. Consistency is so difficult, but so very important.
“Little kids- little problems; big kids; big problems”.
Your son is likely feeling dismayed and upset because his behavior is out of control. I hope you will consider seeking out support and help for him and, of course, most especially for yourself.
There is just no other way to say it: Single parenting is the toughest job in the world.
Good luck!
SoloMother
Nov 6, 2007 at 11:44 am
Kate, I’m so sorry! What a letdown, huh.
SoloMother
Nov 6, 2007 at 11:47 am
Hi there, Dr. Leah. Thanks for weighing in on this. I’m worried about the ‘assessment’ because I don’t think our public school system is set up to help exceptionally bright children succeed. We’ll see. If any public school in my city can rally together the resources they need to help this guy through I think it’s this one, though.
We do many wonderful things that he loves throughout the week, and he knows that good behavior is the only way he gets to participate. The consequences of bad behavior? Can’t go out, because I can’t trust him to act well and not interfere with the other children’s right to a calm and productive day.
Kelly
Nov 6, 2007 at 3:02 pm
My daughter went through a phase like that at pretty much that same age. She was pushing kids around and hitting them for no reason at all. This started happening right after my boyfriend and I broke up and we moved out of the apartment the 3 of us had shared for 2 years (her father and I were never married and in fact, weren’t together anymore by the time she was born). The phase eventually passed.
I know you and your ex have been apart for more than a year now, but is it possible that this behavior has something to do with his father’s recent visit? Maybe he’s just reacting to the adjustment of only having him around for short visits now and then? Not that there’s anything you can really do about that, other than be there for him and give him a loving home (which you already clearly do). It’s great that he has a teacher who seems to really like him and want to work with him, and so many friends and family in your community that love him.
Maybe you can talk to his Tae Kwon Do instructor as well? The lessons learned in there often apply to outside life as well, so they might be able to talk to him about his behavior at school.
Good luck!
worker bee
Nov 7, 2007 at 12:53 am
and windex. don’t forget the windex.
perhaps His Majesty has been picking up on all the crazy vibes that have been eminating from you, and his little brain just can’t process it beyond ‘act out.’ maybe he thinks by turning the attention on himself, you’ll forget whatever has been weighing on you while taking care of him. and in his world, that could be his way of looking out for you.
if i were him, that’d be my thoughts. and really, i’d do the same thing.
navi
Nov 7, 2007 at 1:08 am
unfortunately it depends.
There is something called ‘emotionally impaired’ academically advanced students can get help with that label. but if you aren’t in a wealthier district you’ll probably have to fight for it.
christina
Nov 7, 2007 at 1:44 pm
:) Hi, workerbee!
LOL I like your logic, but unfortunately, his behavior isn’t about me. it’s about him. He is bored in his homeroom, and so he acts like an idiot there. He doesn’t behave badly in Music or Art…
christina
Nov 7, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Sigh, I know, Navi. I’m going to go the route and see where it leads, and always be my son’s strongest advocate. We’ll see what happens. Thanks!
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