Solo Mother

Single mom needs a date

by christina on May 17th, 2007

One of the things about being a single mom at a certain age is the… smaller pool of applicants, if you know what I mean. Guys my age are mostly interested in gals ten years younger, or are married, or are otherwise unavailable. Mostly, I’m ok with that… or at least, I thought I was…

until about a month ago, when I received an e-mail informing me of my participation at a black tie event for work. I was informed that I would bring a companion. An escort.

A Date.

I spluttered. I hemmed. I hawed. And finally, I acquiesced. I would bring a Date. One who owns his own tux.

I sent out word to my best girlfriends: S.O.S.! NEED DATE! And the network sprang to action. Possible matches were discussed all over the city, over lattes and espressos.  Gradually, a consensus was achieved, and the best possible candidate was put forward. Well. Not really. See, this nice guy helped his friend, whose wife was my best friend’s friend, bring over some chairs when I moved into this house. I didn’t get to meet him, unfortunately, as they were double parked on my tiny street. But he looked nice enough from afar. And the friends mentioned that we should get together, or that he’d been interested in meeting me, or something like that. I dunno. I didn’t do anything about it. But when word got out that I needed a Date, this nice man came back up. Apparently, I’ve been vetted on the other side, and all interested parties have agreed that it’s OK for us to Meet.

Which is how I find myself in agonies over Saturday night. We’re going to get together, he suggested dinner, I suggested this weekend, and I think we were both surprised by each other’s ideas on what constitutes the Meet and Greet. I’d been thinking coffee, he’d been thinking next week. I’m thinking, oh holy jeez no, I’m not ready for a date! But then I look at it realistically. I deserve a little time for adult conversation, for a night out, for a pleasant evening with no expectations and no strings attached.

I have no idea how to do this. So I thought I’d make a list of things I vow not to do on a First Date:

• Judge the Victim’s ability to be a father to my son in the first five minutes
• Talk about my child more than 10 minutes out of every hour
• Discuss my ex
• plan out the next five years with him

You know. Keep it light. This isn’t romantic. This isn’t some coup de foudre, saw him across a crowded room and knew he was the One. This was a hazy glimpse of a dark-haired man during one of the most stressful periods of my life, when I was grungy and dingy and streaked with the grime of moving a life halfway across the world. If he saw me in that state and still wants to meet for an enjoyable evening, then good on him. Just because I’m a single mom doesn’t mean I have to forgo the pleasure of a gentleman’s company.

I wonder if he has a tux?

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