Solo Mother

Some tentative steps towards public assistance

by christina on January 28th, 2007

I don’t know if my pride will let me do it, but it looks as though I’m eligible for public assistance right now. I might qualify for food stamps and emergency health insurance, TANF and financial assistance with rent and utilities.

What. Me? Welfare doesn’t have to look poor to be poor, baby. I’m holding my breath that this dream job I’ve been persuing comes through. I don’t want to have to be supported. I want to be in a position to support the next single mother down the line.

To be scathingly honest, I dread the looks the cashier might give me at the supermarket check out. The look that says I don’t need help, that I’m slumming. I don’t want to have to swallow my pride, even though if I said, “Single mom…” she or he would probably understand and give me a, “saynomore, saynomore” kind of nod. I’m treading on thin waters of race and poverty issues; my town is minority white, and the minority has the majority of the money in this town. I ’shouldn’t’ have to go on the dole. Right now, I’ve got enough saved to get through one more month, and I have every confidence that the next deal, the dream job, another long-term temp assignment, is on its way. I don’t *think* I’ll have to tap these resources… but I just might. The market is tight out there, and I have a pretty specialized skill set.

So I’m getting my ducks in a row, so to speak. Sat with a friend who used to be a social worker in this town, and she had some good advice that will help all of us in this awful situation of not being able to make ends meet:

• Do your homework. Spend time on your local government’s website looking up the available social services.
• Do any sort of advance prep, forms, or whatever online if you can.
• Know what documents you’ll need, make phone calls to be absolutely certain what you’ll need. Copy of the lease, your SSN and the SSN for all your children, proof of income or lack thereof, proof of child support, any other outstanding debts you might have to service, utility bills, etc. Have it all with you — and making a copy or two to hand out couldn’t hurt.
• Be nice. These folks are burned out; too much work and not enough workers.
• Be prepared. If you don’t have what you need on the first go-round, chances are, you’re going to fall through the cracks. Make your social worker’s job as easy as possible.
• Know your social worker’s name, and be sure s/he knows that YOU know what is supposed to be done on your behalf.
• Be pro-active, and be your own advocate.

Remember, it’s not just about you. Your children deserve every bit of help they can get. If you’re running around without health insurance, if you’re about to be late on the rent… get help. Don’t wait til the last minute. Be prepared, be polite, be tenacious.

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