the voice inside my head is getting loud today…
It’s been a rough five months. I suppose if anyone at work googles my name, they will know a bit about what I go through every day, but I try to keep my personal life out of the office. Really I do. But on Thursday I have to take the King of Everything to the pediatrician to start finding out why he can’t breathe through his nose. I figure, if he’d shoved a couple of peas in there, they would have come shooting out by now.
(Though I am reminded of a movie night oh, about a year ago. We were all piled into bed, with dinner and drinks and popcorn and a Land Before Time DVD. The dinosaurs had just gone into a cave when the Kid started hollering, “Get it out! Get it out!!” and we were quick to reassure him that it was ok, there was nothing bad in the cave… when I noticed he wasn’t pointing at the screen… he was pointing at his nose. His papa made him blow his nose hard and out shot an unpopped kernel of popcorn. First and last time the kid ever stuck something up his nose, let me tell you!)
It was a difficult day today. I am trying, these days, to take the time to figure out why some days are hard, and not just try to slog through and sweep everything under the rug.
Part of what has been getting me down today is that void, that vacuum, where at least a sounding board once was. My child is having trouble breathing and is going to have to have surgery, I suspect. I don’t have a spouse to bounce this stuff off of, no one to commiserate with, no one to curl up with in the dead of night when my morbid imagination grabs hold of me and won’t let go. I don’t have a partner to share these burdens with. Certainly, my friends and family are very sympathetic to my little family’s ups and downs. But there’s no strong arms to hold me as we navigate this difficult time.
It’s difficult to be a single mom.
Tags: children, coping, family, health, long distance father, motherhood, mothering, sanctuary, self-confidence, sharing the load, single mom, single mother
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POSTED IN: health, parenting, sharing the load, stress
5 opinions for the voice inside my head is getting loud today…
Gloria
Mar 18, 2007 at 11:55 pm
i have that feeling all the time. abd believe it or not even when things are pretty good. it would really be nice to share all with somebody that’s there’s 24/7 like you are to your KoE.
a single mom’s life would always e difficult i guess, even when things are in good shape. we still a man (a good man) beside us, girl! ;-)
Gloria
Mar 18, 2007 at 11:55 pm
i mean, need a man.
angel
Mar 19, 2007 at 9:47 am
it is indeed difficult…
i feel like i’ve missed so much! its been a month since my laptop screen packed in so i have had no connection at home for quite some time!
i can’t wait till i get a new machine and can catch up with you properly!
christina
Mar 19, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I hope you get a new laptop soon. At least I’ve got my laptop from work if things go horribly wrong ;-)
Angie
Mar 20, 2007 at 4:06 am
I have been doing this single parent for almost 3 years.. its been rough.. but worth while..
It may be lonely & hard doing our job. but in the end we will recive all the rewards. We have the pleasure of watching them grow and struggle with ABC’s, colors, animal sounds. We don’t have to share it with someone. or be jealous they get to spend more time with the child than you.
i tried to date and in the end it just wasn’t worth it. One man hung around for 4 months then boogied.. it was rough explaining to my 2 year old that he wasn’t coming back. Myself personally I don’t have the time & because men have a hard time dating a 3 year old… they must win her..
Just wary of your choices.. If a man is really interested he will be greatful for anytime spent together. Because EXTRA time in a Single Paren’ts life is RARE!!
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