The world’s most superficial holiday has me in a twist
Me. A Single Mom on Valentine’s Day. I’ve got it all planned. A big date with the King of Everything. What could be nicer? It’s my second Valentine’s Day as a single mother, you’d think I’d be pretty nonchalant about the whole thing by now. I mean, it’s a Hallmark holiday. It doesn’t mean much beyond another retail opportunity to get some more money out of my pocket, and like a sucker, I’m going to play along, get some really expensive chocolates, make valentines with the kid, smile and nod.
I guess I’m burned out. Too many diamond commercials. A Tiffany’s receipt on PostSecret for a trinket worth nearly $19,000 and the sender still doesn’t believe he loves her. Diamonds are forever all over the radio, the stores are chock-o-block full of strawberries, champagne and chocolate, and there’s a card for every sentiment shouting from the racks.
Maybe I’m sick of the fake sentiment. Maybe I’m pissed off because I bought into the lie of Hollywood romance and look where it got me. Maybe I’m sick of being nearly 40 and stuck at a crossroads… do I plan the rest of my life as though I’m going to be single for the rest of it, or do I leave a little room for someone else? Do I scrimp and save for a two bedroom condo, or a three? The practical, cold-hearted side of me says EFF IT, shut it all down, assume you’re going to be a crazy cat lady with bright red lipstick and run stockings, and just focus on you and the kid from now on. The soft-hearted dreamer in me says don’t go for workforce housing, you’d have to be there for ten years, and what if you meet a guy with a kid who doesn’t like apartments and suddenly your little two bedroom condo isn’t enough anymore, but you’re stuck?
I’m torn in two, and the cold-hearted practical Forever a Ms. side is winning. I have to be a pessimist and assume I’ll always be single. I have to take care of us.
Berloody Valentine’s Day. I was ok with all of this life as a single parent until this particular holiday snuck up on me. Last year I was grateful to have friends who brought chocolates and movies. This year, the single woman and the single mother are not speaking to each other. I hope they knock it off quickly and patch things up, or I’m going to be a crazy cat lady a lot sooner than I had expected to be. Emphasis on the crazy.
(I guess I’d be in a better mood if the ex would actually answer one of my numerous emails asking where two months of child support and a notorized document for the Kid are. Grrr.)
Tags: choices, divorce, doubt, love, single-mom, single-mother, splitting up, valentines-dayRelated Stories
POSTED IN: holidays
9 opinions for The world’s most superficial holiday has me in a twist
Madame M
Feb 10, 2008 at 5:05 pm
But see, I love Valentine’s day because I get to tell you I love you and ply myself and everyone I know with chocolate.
*blows kisses*
PS: Post secret thingy? Effed up.
christina
Feb 10, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Mmmmm Chocolate.
Isn’t that Post Secret thing nuts? I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with someone who’d drop a college grad’s salary on a necklace for me, but damn. What thing to think on.
Andrea
Feb 11, 2008 at 12:39 am
I know how you feel. I think I know which side of me is winning though; I got two cats three months ago. I KNOW that V-Day is a Hallmark holiday, it’s just a day, blah blah blah. But I am tired of the constant “Hey, you’re single and no one is in love with you and all of these things that the rest of the world is celebrating doesn’t apply to you!” reminders.
I really just want a date. I want someone to take me to dinner, or a movie, and talk to me. Why is it so hard?
Gloria
Feb 11, 2008 at 1:43 am
all you wrote here, my sentiments exactly. i may have to grab the next man that comes along. just so i don’t become the crazy cat lady with bright red lipstick and run stockings.
Leslie
Feb 11, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Why can’t we have it all - someone to love us in spite of the cat, lipstick and runs in our hose? :)
I’m having lunch with my girlfriends on V-day and filling the evening with hearing all about the little one’s Valentine party. Honestly, I always got more into the holiday than any guy did so I guess I should just buy myself something.
christina
Feb 11, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Oh Andrea. THREE cats already? Doom. DOOM!
Just kidding. If I had three cats, I wouldn’t have any rodents in the house, would I?
And no, I’m not making some joke that my ex is allergic to cats.
I hear you on the date thing. it’s so nice to have a civilized, grown-up time every once in a while.
christina
Feb 11, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Leslie, buy yourself something. Red Envelope is having a big sale. Pretties. 60% off.
christina
Feb 11, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Gloria, before you grab the next man… you might want to read about settling for Mr. Good Enough… LOL
SINGLEPARENTDATE
Feb 13, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Happy Valentine’s day!
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: