What can a single mom do to take care of her children, no matter what?
Single parents have a lot to worry about. This single mother is worried about what will happen to her son if something happens to her… or if something happens to both his parents. I know that, legally, the King of Everything would go live with his father if I were to die. I worry that he’d never see his maternal grandparents again. I worry that my ex might not be able to make ends meet.
To that end, I have to draft a will, and very soon. I need to get a life insurance policy and name Nicolas as the beneficiary — and somehow set it up in a trust so that a certain amount gets paid out monthly, sort of like child support beyond the grave. Could you imagine some unscrupulous ex using the settlement money from your death to splash out in style? Pay off personal debts? Not save the money or use it for the child?
Part of the divorce process will also have to deal with ‘in the event of’ clauses. I’d like the agreement to stipulate that my parents, if I die, have visitation rights along the same lines as basic custodial rights. Every other major holiday and vacation. It would just crush my son to lose me and his beloved Grammie, too, through shortsightedness or a sense of imortality on my part.
Are your kids covered? Do you have ‘just in case’ clauses worked out in your settlement agreements?
Tags: children, death, divorce, insurance, legal-custody, single-mom, single-mother, willRelated Stories
POSTED IN: child support, divorce, separation
3 opinions for What can a single mom do to take care of her children, no matter what?
Grandma Bob
Nov 18, 2006 at 10:05 pm
You need to do this ASAP. Whatever money you want to go to your son you can set up so that someone you trust handles it. The ex may end up with the child, but that doesn’t mean that he automatically ends up with the resources that you can set up for your son. I have not looked, but there are probably forms online to guide you. But do it soon. The relief to your mind will be well worth it! And good luck. You can do this. I raised my daughter alone and she is a delightful, generous, caring woman who is now raising her daughter by herself.
christina
Nov 18, 2006 at 10:18 pm
As soon as I get the money to pay into a policy, I’m going to get it all set up. When we were going through the separation agreement, I insisted that my husband include a clause for life insurance in our son’s name. He’s paying a pittance in child support, probably a third of what the courts here would mandate. He offered a $50,000 life insurance policy on himself, with the boy as beneficiary. Unbelievable, but $50K is even LESS than what he would pay if he stays at his pittance amount until the kid’s 18. And when I objected, the husband sneered, “What, you going to take out a bigger policy than that?” Damned straight I will. I want my kid to be taken care of, no matter what.
Welcome, Grandma! Huzzah to you and your daughter.
betty
Aug 7, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Ok this is a tough situation, as for me I have bought thru my local church a plan where all the mortuary and cemetery services will be paid for for both my son and myself. I make monthly payments of about $45 and it is very helpful because I know that upon my death my child (or “family”) will not have to worry about paying for my death services, which can turn up to be really high. I also have a will stating that I want for my child to be cared for by his father and in the event he does not wish to care for his own child then my child can be turned over to his grandmother. I had to have this there because in the event that his father does not want full responsibility then my child would then be turned over to social services and I would not like to have that happen.
I also have a medical plan in action stating in case I where to be in a coma I do not wish to be kept alive with a breathing machine etc. I cannot imagine how my child would feel seeing me in that situation. Everyone has their own thought and opinions, I feel that having everything arranged is necessary for when you have no one else to count on like for most of us single mothers. I would rather die knowing that my child can mourn his mother peacefully and not be in debt for the rest of his life. I’m 21 and yes people can die at 21 too and it’s good to know that I can die peacefully [at least on that part =D]
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